Seeing the Woman Behind the Hijab

SEEING THE WOMAN BEHIND THE HIJAB

BY GRACE KIM

When you are at a restaurant, a grocery store, or walking across a college campus and notice a woman wearing a hijab, what is your first reaction?

Do you feel curious, but unsure how to engage? Do you feel hesitant, intimidated, or uncertain about what is appropriate to say?

You’re not alone. Many Christians maintain a curious distance from veiled Muslim women, unsure whether it’s okay to engage with them, or if they would even welcome our initiation.

News headlines often shape our perceptions of Islam, and the hijab can easily become a symbol loaded with assumptions. You might assume that Muslim women are extremely religious, unapproachable, or uninterested in meaningful relationships with people of other faiths. These assumptions often prevent us from seeing the person behind the hijab, a neighbor and friend with ordinary joys, struggles, questions, and longings.

Engaging Muslim women often begins with simple gestures of kindness.

A few years ago, I met a young Muslim – who I will call “Z” – at a local McDonald’s. She was cleaning tables during her shift while I was eating my lunch. We struck up a conversation, exchanged numbers, and slowly began a friendship. Z was a high school student from Ghana who wore a hijab. I began meeting her during her lunch break each week simply to talk and spend time together. As our friendship grew, I helped her with college preparation and supported her as she navigated an important season in life. Eventually, she invited me into her home, where I met her family.

Over time, our friendship deepened to the point where we could have open conversations about faith. I’ve shared my testimony, explained the gospel, and even studied portions of the Bible and Qur’an together with her. I also gifted her a Bible, which she is currently reading.

I’m still struck by how this friendship began with an ordinary, unplanned encounter at a fast-food restaurant. It reminds me that engaging Muslim women often begins with simple gestures of kindness, and that the friendships we form and the gospel conversations we share are God-initiated long before we recognize them as such.

Loving Muslim women well calls for a willingness to keep learning, particularly about Islam and how it shapes their worldview and daily lives.

Here are some practical principles that have helped guide me in interactions with Z and others:

1. Don’t Be Intimidated–Be Neighborly

The first step is often the hardest: initiating conversation. A simple, friendly greeting can go a long way. Many Muslim women are pleasantly surprised when Christians approach them with kindness. As conversations unfold, you will quickly discover that you share much in common. Students worry about exams and future plans. Young women think about relationships and career goals. Mothers care for their children and families. When you set aside assumptions and judgment and approach Muslim women with humility and openness, you will allow them to share who they are in their own words.

2. Ask Thoughtful Questions to Learn and Listen

Asking questions is a non-threatening and natural way to build a connection and get to know someone. When questions are asked with genuine curiosity and respect, they invite personal reflection rather than debate. Alongside the general questions you might ask about her background, culture, or life, you can also ask questions about her faith, such as:

“How did you decide to become a Muslim?”
“Do you have a favorite verse in the Qur’an?”
“When did you start wearing the hijab? Was this your own decision?”

Ramadan, the holiest month for billions of Muslims, can be an especially meaningful time for these conversations. During this month, they fast from sunrise to sunset and devote themselves to prayer. This season often opens the door to deeper discussion, allowing you to ask why she fasts, what she prays for, and whether she has experienced answered prayer. Questions like these can naturally lead to more thoughtful spiritual conversations.

3. Establish Genuine Friendships

Like anyone else, Muslim women can sense when they are approached with an agenda and treated as spiritual “projects.” When you prioritize genuine friendship and show real interest in her life, trust grows naturally, and honest spiritual conversations often follow. A relationship built on respect and care provides the safest space to discuss faith differences, difficult questions, and even disagreements.

4. Share Your Faith Openly and Respectfully

Many Christians hesitate to talk openly about their faith out of concern that they might offend their Muslim friends. Yet in reality, many Muslims respect serious religious convictions and appreciate sincerity. After listening well and engaging thoughtfully with what she has shared, you can simply ask, “May I share with you what I believe?” Sharing your testimony, how you came to faith, how Christ has shaped your life, and why the gospel matters to you is deeply meaningful. Boldness and humility are not opposites; together, they reflect Christ well.

5. Seek to Grow in Understanding

Finally, loving Muslim women well calls for a willingness to keep learning, particularly about Islam and how it shapes their worldview and daily lives. Reaching Your Muslim Neighbor with the Gospel by Ayman Ibrahim is a helpful resource that offers both a clear introduction to Islamic beliefs and practical guidance for engaging Muslims thoughtfully. Knowledge alone does not change hearts, but it does give us greater confidence to engage Muslim women with wisdom and care.

Engaging Muslim women is more than getting the “right” approach or mastering techniques. It is about genuine love, courage, and wisdom. When you move past fear, listen well, and speak honestly about faith, you will see that you have found a precious friend. Behind every hijab is a woman made in the image of God, and just like you, she deserves dignity, genuine friendship, and the hope found in Jesus Christ.

Grace Kim is a student at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, where she is pursuing a PhD in Islamic Studies and serves at the Jenkins Center for the Christian Understanding of Islam.