Our dialogue that day was encouraging and instructive for both of us, and its fruit bears hearing.  In our own words, here is just a bit of what Emily and I are learning, each in our separate contexts, about pursuing meaningful relationships with Muslims:

 

EMILY:

In my Intercultural Communication class, I have been introduced to the idea of how deeply held cultural values often create barriers for communication. Indirect communication and tone account for most of the message conveyed in an interaction, with the use of words being far less important. Applying this knowledge to a Muslim context leads to an understanding, for example, of how eye contact does not convey the same message as it does in the American context. For some Muslims, it means disrespect and even romantic intentions, depending on if the conversation is female to female or male to female. Lowering your gaze while in conversation is the norm for many Muslims, while eye contact in the US means respect and attention. Being aware of and adjusting to this seemingly inconsequential action might just be the thing that gains their respect.

 

MARTHA:  

Emily, I love how astute your understanding of cultural practices is already.  Attention to this can pave the way for good relationships with Muslims.  In my experience of hosting Muslims in the US, I am sensitive to many aspects of cleanliness / impurity in my home so they feel welcomed.  For example, we initially put our dog out of sight as they are sometimes considered unclean outdoor animals.  Since toilet rooms are considered dirty, we make sure we don’t have Scripture or religious décor in those areas as some Muslims would consider this an insult to God.  We never serve pork or food cooked with alcohol when inviting them, and we tell them this ahead of time.  We know that they would prefer halal meat, so we provide this when possible.  As a woman, I never physically touch a Muslim man out of respect.  However, I find that as I age, this becomes easier as I am viewed as a motherly or even grandmotherly type and therefore no threat to cross-gender purity.  Our family has found that these simple steps are enough to lower their stress when visiting our home and therefore communicate respect and concern for them in a practical way.

 

EMILY:  

When God opens the door for the Gospel message, sharing stories in the Bible that resonate with their culture can be very effective. Muslims usually have a strong sense of loyalty to their family and therefore discussion about the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1 holds much more weight to them than to most individualistic Americans. My favorite story to share when witnessing to Muslims is the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32, also known as the story of the forgiving father in other contexts. I explain how disrespectful the son was to take his inheritance early, how he treated his father as if he were dead to him, and the shame he brought upon his family because of his actions. Yet, when the prodigal son arrived back home, his father restored his honor through his actions of running out to him, embracing his son, and cloaking him with the finest robe, ring, and sandals for their celebration that the lost was found! I explain how the father's response to his son that was full of love and compassion is how God looks at us, the lost son. Placing emphasis on the son feeling shame because of his actions, rather than fear or guilt, strikes a chord in the Muslim context, and then following up with how our God is a forgiving God who restores honor and right-standing - it is this that brings the Gospel presentation to completion. As my professor often said, “There is no perfect Gospel presentation, only a perfect God.”

 

MARTHA:  

I love your professor’s saying!  That is so true, and I would add that there is no perfect Christian witness to Muslims.  We are all flawed and get things wrong.  It is our hearts’ intentions that they see despite our clumsy attempts to know them and minister to them.  I agree that storying is a wonderful way to reach Muslims.  In fact, my Muslim friends often ask me about Bible characters that are mentioned in the Qur’an.  They want to know what the Bible says about Abraham, Joseph, David, Mary, and especially Jesus.  I love reading to them straight from the Bible then discussing the story.  Speaking of biblical references, your lost son story has the same theme as my favorite verse to share with Muslims, Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  Many Muslims dutifully try to please God through good deeds, so the rest and grace of the gospel could be good news to them.